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1. You may not modify, copy, distribute, transmit, display, reproduce, publish, license, transfer or sell any information related to this Web site. You may not print out this Web site and send it to your mother-in-law (age 96) at her nursing home. You may not read aloud passages from this Web site at the breakfast table. You may not describe this Web site to friends. You must never make any reference to this Web site. The very fact that you are using this Web site is a copyright violation. If captured, disavow all knowledge of this Web site.

2. We reserve the right to change the topic of this Web site at any time without prior notice. As a marsupial unique to Australia, the echidna can lay up to five eggs each year during its reproductive cycle. See, we changed the topic of this Web site. Just like that. And we’d do it again. You watch!

3. The information contained in this Web site may contain errors, typos, inaccuracies, fibs or outright falsifications. You assume all risk for any actions taken as a result of advice given in this Web site. We do not warrant that any "experts" quoted within this Web site are actually expert in their given field. Many of these "experts" are actually people we met at the public library who appear to live there permanently.

4. You assume full responsibility for any injuries occurring as a result of using this Web site, including, but not limited to: eyestrain, headache, nausea, ink poisoning, tetanus or paper cuts. We reserve the right to include the preceding joke about paper cuts, even though the joke makes no sense in electronic form. Do not test us. We will not hesitate to start talking about the echidna once again.

5. This Web site is provided on an "as-is" basis without any warranty to its pertinence, entertainment or relevance. Any words or phrases contained herein are the exclusive property of the author and may not be used by you without the author’s express written consent. This includes words such as "fandango," "cupola" and "lycanthrope—words with no relevance to this Web site but that we’ve used solely to exclude you from the right to repeat them in your own speech or correspondence.

6. Should any legal action be initiated as a result of your using this Web site, we reserve the right hire an entire team of high-priced lawyers from a huge, established law firm in a major U.S. city. Furthermore, you agree to hire one attorney, who shall be (a) under 25 years of age, (b) fresh out of law school, and (c) working on his or her first real trial. You agree to lose the case, despite the obvious parallels to any number of John Grisham novels.

7. Any rights not expressly reserved herein may still be reserved with 24-hours written notice and a major credit card. By using this Web site you agree to "hold harmless" the author, publisher, printer and distributor, their families, friends, colleagues, pets, personal trainers and ex-spouses. Except where prohibited by state law, using this Web site gives the above-mentioned parties the right to custody of your eternal soul.

8. We reserve the right to terminate this Web site at any time. Even in the middle of a